So, former NHL defenseman Mike Commodore's a part-time Uber driver.
"I'm single, I've got no kids, I was just looking for something to get me out of the house and keep me out of the bars," Commodore said earlier in the week. "I don't mind driving. I like to meet people and I like to talk to people. I'll definitely do it again, one night a weekend or maybe even during the week."
Get that paper, Mike.
In the spirit of free-market capitalism, innovation, and the sharing economy, here are four current NHLers - and some honorable mentions - who would make excellent Uber drivers.
Jaromir Jagr
No. 68 is an easy pick. Think about the stories Jaromir Jagr could tell.
Dude's 44 years old and has played pro hockey for more than half his life, in Pittsburgh, Washington, New York City, Philadelphia, Dallas, Boston, New Jersey, Miami, and Siberia.
He'd probably guilt you out of wherever it is you were planning to go and take you to the gym instead. Days off are for quitters.
Brent Burns
Imagine Brent Burns picking you up on the corner wearing his Chewbacca mask and driving an RV. Who knows, maybe Joe Thornton would be in the passenger seat up front. They hang out, and share "lifestyle beards."
The craziest part: If Burns did in fact drive an Uber around the Bay Area, no one would be surprised. It would simply be part of Burns' charm. And would make for an awesome night.
Get on this, San Jose Sharks. Your marketing department can thank us later.
Jonathan Toews
Captain Serious. Yep, Jonathan Toews. Think about it. It would be amazing.
There's a laundry list of things he could talk to you about on the ride, from climate change, to growing your own food, to books he's reading, to Buddhism and "total human optimization."
Or you could talk to him about what it's like to win everything there is to win in hockey by the age of 28. Three Stanley Cups. A Conn Smythe Trophy. A Selke. World Junior Championship gold (twice). World Championship gold. Olympic gold (twice). The World Cup. His resume is ridiculous.
There's also his ridiculously cute dog.
Toews is so much more of a character than he's given credit for. It'd be a ride, all right. And he'd definitely offer up the aux cord.
Roberto Luongo
Think. About. The. Tweets.
Think about Roberto Luongo driving an Uber and tweeting about each of his passengers after the ride. Yeah, you'd be entertained. On the ride and after.
Honorable Mentions
P.K. Subban
- You get the feeling P.K. Subban would show you an incredible time in Nashville.
Alex Ovechkin
- You also get the feeling Alex Ovechkin would show you an incredible time in D.C. and Moscow.
Tyler Seguin
- Tyler Seguin probably knows where to party in Dallas. And Boston. And Toronto.
Phil Kessel
- An Uber ride with Phil Kessel would probably be the most awkward Uber ride of all time. And that's what would make it worth taking.
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