When Andrew Raycroft was traded to the Toronto Maple Leafs in 2006, he was ecstatic to get the chance to play near his hometown of Belleville, Ontario.
Unfortunately for the netminder, things didn't go as planned.
"It started to snowball on me, getting more and more difficult," Raycroft said of his two seasons in Toronto, according to The Athletic's James Mirtle. "I just didn't know what to do. I wasn't Martin Brodeur. I wasn't Patrick Roy, where I had the talent or the pedigree to just to play my way out of it. I needed confidence and I needed mental clarity and I wasn't able to find that."
Raycroft showed immense promise as a young goaltender, taking home the Calder Trophy in 2003 while with the Boston Bruins. The Maple Leafs, who were looking for an immediate answer in net at the time, traded away the rights to Tuukka Rask to bring in Raycroft.
He started 71 games in his first season with the Leafs and went 37-25-9 with an .894 save percentage and 2.99 goals-against average. His peripheral numbers dipped as the year went on, and Toronto eventually missed the playoffs by a single point.
With the roller coaster of ups and downs during his first year and constant media spotlight, Raycroft believes he may have periodically suffered from depression.
"I don't know. I'm sure there was. I wasn't happy, that's for sure," he said. "It was hard for me to be excited about anything and get to the rink. ... I don't know if it was depression clinically or what exactly that feels like, but there was certainly times when I was really sad and just didn't want to deal with anything.
"It was still at a time where it wasn't frowned upon but (getting help) wasn't encouraged by any means. And it goes to the point of me not really having the confidence to go and ask for help and just trying to deal with it myself. I don't really have many regrets. I tried my best. But I wish I asked for help."
Raycroft pointed to the constant pressure from the media in Toronto as a key reason why he didn't seek help at the time.
"It would have made miles of difference, I believe, had I been able to just go and talk to someone," he added. "But if that had got out in the media that I was going to see someone? I was scared of that happening and looking even more weak than not just playing bad and losing games, but also looking like I can't handle it."
His second season in Toronto was one of the worst of his career, as he won just twice in 19 games. He bought out of his contract in the summer of 2008 and went on to be a backup goalie with the Colorado Avalanche, Vancouver Canucks, and Dallas Stars until he went to play overseas in 2012. He announced his retirement from pro hockey in 2014.
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